I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He better not be in your backpack
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize