At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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