: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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