just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
