That's when you crack a 10am beer
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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