Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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