hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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