Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
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2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
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I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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