I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
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i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
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I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
soo... how was my night?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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