I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
