Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
