I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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