I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
