Did I show you my penis last night?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
