she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize