I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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