if you like me you must not know who I am
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
