that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
