I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
