a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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