I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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