If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
