ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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