Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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