if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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