im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
