Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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