I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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