I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
