i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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