Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
