"it" just moved
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
