You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
