is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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