what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
