I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
