why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
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Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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