you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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