he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Randomize
