I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
