I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
