Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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