I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
