so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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