He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
