I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
