Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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