bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
