Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize