Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
