I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
