you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
