"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
