In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
