Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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