I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
